Theodore Roosevelt on Family

On Fatherhood and His Children

My children are my greatest joy. Nothing I have accomplished as President or as a public man comes near the satisfaction I feel from my children. If anything happens to me, I want them to know that every action of my life has been taken with them in mind.

Roosevelt's devotion to his children was complete and unconditional. Even in his busiest periods—as Governor, as President, as a candidate—he made time for his six children and maintained close correspondence with them when separated by duty.

I love hard work and I like my children with an intensity that is almost terrifying in its strength. My work, my family—these two things sum up what matters in my life.

Roosevelt did not compartmentalize his affections. His love for his children was as fierce as his commitment to his public work.

Letters to His Children

Darling, I loved your last letter. It made me so happy. I am proud of you every day. You are growing into such a fine young man.

Written to his eldest son Ted Jr., these lines reveal the tender side of Roosevelt that shocked those who knew only his public persona. His letters to his children were filled with encouragement, affection, and careful advice.

To my dear Kermit: I was so glad to get your note. You must not worry if things do not go exactly as you wish. The important thing is that you do your best and keep yourself honest and truthful. That is worth more than any success.

To Kermit, his second son and perhaps his closest companion in adventure, Roosevelt offered not just parental instruction but genuine friendship and understanding.

My dear Ethel: The world is full of wonder for those who have eyes to see it. I want you to see it all. Travel, read, think for yourself, and never let anyone tell you that you cannot do what you set your mind to.

To his daughter Ethel, Roosevelt was both protective and encouragingly progressive, urging her to develop her own intellectual independence.

On Marriage and Partnership

Nothing I have achieved as President comes near the satisfaction I feel from my marriage. Edith is my anchor, my guide, and my greatest ally. Without her, I would be lost.

Roosevelt's second wife, Edith Kermit Carow, became the emotional and organizational center of his life. He relied on her judgment and cherished her companionship.

A man who does not read is not free. A man who does not love his wife with all his heart is doubly imprisoned.

For Roosevelt, the love of a wife was as essential as intellectual freedom—both were necessary for a complete life.

On Family Responsibility

A man's first duty is to his family. If he neglects his wife and children for public work, he is failing in the most important work of all.

Even as he pursued the presidency and took on enormous public responsibilities, Roosevelt insisted that a man's family came first. He made time for his children nearly every day, played games with them, took them on adventures, and wrote them long letters when duty separated them.

The family is the unit on which the nation is built. Strong families make a strong nation. A man who is careless with his family is careless with the future of the nation itself.

For Roosevelt, the private virtue of family responsibility was inseparable from public virtue. National strength began at home.

On Raising Children with Principle

I want my children to be honest, upright, and hardworking. I want them to understand that privilege carries responsibility. They must earn their place in the world through their own efforts.

Roosevelt refused to raise his children as pampered aristocrats. Despite his wealth, he insisted they work, contribute, and understand the value of effort.

My dear children: The great thing about this country is that it offers equal opportunity to everyone who is willing to work. You must remember that your name means nothing unless you yourselves make it mean something through your actions.

Roosevelt made clear to his six children that they could not live on his reputation. They must create their own.

Letters to His Children: The Intimate Father

To his son Ted Jr.: "Dearest Ted, I have just received your letter about your success at school. I am so proud of you it is almost impossible for me to express it. You have my whole heart. When you work hard and accomplish things, it fills me with such joy. Work hard, play hard, and always keep yourself pure and honest."

Roosevelt's letters to his children reveal a tenderness that his public persona often obscured. He wrote regularly, expressing his love explicitly and offering guidance that combined his philosophical convictions with practical advice. These letters—now preserved in archives—show a man deeply engaged in his children's emotional and moral development, not merely their external success.

To Kermit, his adventurous second son: "You must not let the hardships discourage you. Remember that the world is full of adventure and beauty for those with eyes to see it. You have the capacity for great things, but only if you develop your character and your will."

Roosevelt encouraged his children to seek adventure and to push their limits, but always with the understanding that character was more important than accomplishment. He wanted his sons to be brave, but not reckless. He wanted them to succeed, but not at the cost of their integrity.

On Raising Children with Purpose

I want my children to be happy, yes. But I do not want them to be merely comfortable. A comfortable life leads to a weak life. I want them to know challenge, to overcome difficulty, to understand that the things worth having in life require effort and sacrifice. If I raise them to expect ease, I am setting them up for failure and disappointment.

Roosevelt refused to use his wealth and position to shield his children from the world. He insisted they work, contribute, and understand the value of what they received. His sons attended public schools before going to Harvard. They were expected to earn their position in the world, not simply inherit it.

On the Joy of Fatherhood

To his daughter Ethel: "My dearest Ethel, there is nothing in this world—nothing—that brings me greater joy than my time with you and your siblings. When I am exhausted from my work, when the burdens of the presidency weigh heavily upon me, I think of you all and I remember what truly matters in life."

Despite the tremendous demands of his public position, Roosevelt consistently prioritized his relationships with his children. He wrestled with them, rode horses with them, took them on hunting expeditions, and carved out time each day—even as President—to be with his family. His diaries are filled with entries about time spent with his children, suggesting that these moments were among the most important of his day.

On Loss and Enduring Bonds

When my first wife died, I felt as though the light had gone out of my life. But my children—they carried that light forward for me. They are the continuation of her memory and her love.

The death of Alice Lee in 1884—when their daughter Alice was just three years old—was a wound that never fully healed. But Roosevelt found consolation and continuing purpose in his children, who embodied Alice's memory. He invested his grief in his love for his daughter, ensuring that she was cared for by his most trusted sister while he processed his loss in the Badlands.

To Alice, his eldest daughter: "My darling Alice, you are everything your mother was and everything I could hope you would become. I love you with a love that words cannot express. Never let anyone tell you that you are not equal to any task or any aspiration you set for yourself."

Roosevelt's relationship with his eldest daughter Alice was particularly tender, shaped by the memory of her mother and Roosevelt's desire to ensure that she grew into a strong, independent woman capable of navigating the world with confidence and integrity.